I'm not sure where I'm going with this journal entry since I really should be studying. However, I have a lot on my mind and I need to release somethings so that I can fully devote myself to studying (or so I'm telling myself).

One, I believe I do in fact attract creepsters. Two, I only like what I can't have therefore always having the perpetual problem of liking someone who only sees me as a friend and vice versa. And three, I finally figured out why I cannot get the Twilight movie out of my head. Really I'm beginning to think I'm crazy but I realized that it's the chemistry between the two characters and the whole sense of tortured love that gets me. And also having someone be that completely in love with you. Despite appearances I am indeed a hopeless romantic. I suppose when it comes down to it, I would want a love like that, as silly as it might seem to some. I've really only had one good experience with that sort of thing that unfortunately did not end so well, but alas it is in the past. I've just been so alone for so long that I'm scared I already had my chance and nothing else will come along. Again, silly I know, but night after night always wondering what if, what's wrong with me, etc it gets to you. Yet everyday I wear my smile refusing to show that weakness of mine. Clearly, I'd rather announce in my journal. I mean I don't think many people read this so meh, if they do then I guess you know a little more about me. In short: I'm odd, quirky, whimsical, spazzy but fun. And I wouldn't change a thing, other than having a tortured love with a vampire (I kid, I kid). I only want one of those things :-p